OPEN HOUSE Sunday June 23 2-4 pm
Once there was sliced bread, and it was pretty cool, but then you discovered 1392 Hawthorne Ave., and sh*t got real. Realtors on TikTok are all preaching about how it’s a great time to “buy” because competition is low and bidding wars aren’t as common as they once were. That’s nice, but there haven’t been any houses worth your offer…until today.
Today you found the coolest house on the internet, and it’s actually within reach. You text your best friend the listing link and hold your breath. A series of emojis and gifs follow. The house will be open on Sunday, but you need to get in sooner. You text your agent, “911, it hit.” She calls, “What got hit? Are you OK?” You scream, “It was just listed. The house I need to buy. Can we go see it now?” Silence…”Let me check my schedule. I think I can get you in tonight.” You hang up, heart pounding. You scroll IG to calm your nerves…5 minutes later, the house is in your feed. This is either a sign from the universe or Meta has hacked your brain. You’ll take it as a sign.
Four hours later, you pull up to 1392 Hawthorne Ave. It looks even better than in the pictures. The creamy exterior with the asparagus green front door. You don’t even need to go inside; you already know this is the one. How did the sellers capture every detail so perfectly? The kitchen is simple and sweet with its farmhouse sink and monochromatic checkerboard, hand glazed backsplash. It feels like an advertisement for Rove Concepts. You’ve never been this excited about a long term commitment since…well, never.
The flat backyard is larger than expected with its romantic fire pit and trees that provide generous shade and ambiance. It reminds you of a movie set for a wedding. Your friends could have endless gab sessions on the covered patio, sipping paper planes, while lightning bugs sparkle and a warm summer breeze blows.
Back inside, you look at your agent. She’s videoing the details of the house to post in IG. “Please don’t share this with anyone until we’re under contract.” you say through clenched teeth, “What do we need to offer to make sure this is my new home?
